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loo roll: over or under?

Discussion in 'suburban75' started by wayward bob, Jul 8, 2012.

?

which is the correct way for loo rolls to be hung?

  1. with the loose sheet away from the wall

    70.0%
  2. with the loose sheet next to the wall

    20.0%
  3. i use my hand/water/moss on a stick

    8.3%
  4. i do not defecate

    1.7%
  1. Corax

    Corax This will change your life: http://bit.ly/19lPFRa

    My nipper's house-trained, knows not to disturb people when they're using the toilet. My sister has young uns and complains that they won't give her a moment's peace, even when she's in the loo. I don't understand it tbh. Tell them it's not acceptable, and enforce that. :confused:
     
  2. Puddy_Tat

    Puddy_Tat for an independent feline republic of catford

    it's just occurred to me that in the interests of equality, there ought to be a further option for "i don't use these namby pamby bog roll things, what's wrong with squares of newspaper on a string on the back of the shithouse door"
     
    UrbaneFox likes this.
  3. Jackobi

    Jackobi swallows anything

    I suppose it's a good way of overcoming the problems associated with 'forked-stream'.
     
  4. gentlegreen

    gentlegreen ¡Nadie espera a la babosa española!

    I have my bulk supply of rolls against the wall on my left, but the working roll is on a sheet of wood I keep over the bath when it isn't in use - though when I spin it on my left thumb, I believe it's under - so I can control the feed with my fingers.
    I also keep a separate roll-end on the radio shelf for standing-up ablutions.
     
  5. wayward bob

    wayward bob official sideboard pervert

    in the middle of a dump? :D explain how you enforce it, please :D
     
  6. wayward bob

    wayward bob official sideboard pervert

    covered under the moss-on-a-stick option :D
     
  7. Corax

    Corax This will change your life: http://bit.ly/19lPFRa

    You finish what you're doing, then you go and very firmly tell them in a loud voice not to do it again. If they carry on doing it, you introduce consequences. Just like everything else really.
     
  8. Jackobi

    Jackobi swallows anything

    Having been in the situation of having two giddy, giggling girls shouting at me from outside the toilet door whilst trying to extrude, my usual enforcement method was, "Piss off! I'm trying to HAVE A SHIT!" Usually followed by even more giggling and escalated annoyances.
     
  9. Johnny Canuck3

    Johnny Canuck3 Well-Known Member

    If you put it on backwards [ i.e. under] then the asswipe is touching the bottom of the little curved asswipe alcove before you rip it off and wipe your butt. I want the only thing for that asswipe to be touching, to be the pucker of my ass, not some non-visible, hidden place behind the roll. Who knows what's back there?

    If you put it on the normal way, then everything is out there in the light, for all to see. :)
     
    Greebo likes this.
  10. Johnny Canuck3

    Johnny Canuck3 Well-Known Member

    The only girl shouting at me from outside the toilet, is my wife. I say, "I can't hear you: I'm taking a piss! All I can hear is water on water! I'll be out soon!"

    That usually works, till the next time I take a piss.
     
  11. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan like an outdated combine harvester

    They'd be waiting for you in the toilet?
     
  12. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan like an outdated combine harvester

    tee hee
     
    Greebo likes this.
  13. Corax

    Corax This will change your life: http://bit.ly/19lPFRa

    This, plus it's also more ergonomic. Flicking the side of the roll downwards is far more graceful and fluid than pushing it upwards. Putting it on the wrong way round is nothing less than the act of a deranged lunatic.
     
    Greebo likes this.
  14. UrbaneFox

    UrbaneFox Chip off the old Mogadon

    I like that. So you always get a nice warm wipe of a winter's evening or bitterly cold morning.
     
  15. UrbaneFox

    UrbaneFox Chip off the old Mogadon

    Yes. It give the oyster shell loyalists no room to express themselves.
     
  16. Glitter

    Glitter Prostitute womb god baby

    If my husband put it down I wouldn't know he'd pissed all over the seat and not wiped it off.

    He'd get in a lot less mither! :D
     
  17. Fuchs66

    Fuchs66 Ring a ding

    I actually do this, it fucks with peoples' minds and amuses me no end. :D
     
  18. ViolentPanda

    ViolentPanda Untermensch, and proud!

    Bob wipes her bum on cats. :(
     
  19. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan like an outdated combine harvester

    So why don't people take the roll off the holder when they wipe their bottoms? How do they get the paper off the roll? I can't when it's on a holder, so I take the roll out.
     
  20. Johnny Canuck3

    Johnny Canuck3 Well-Known Member

    I think one-handed tearing is easier with the over configuration. It might just be psychological, but it seems that the times where I've tried a one-handed tear and had half the roll come flying off, was when the roll was in under position.
     
  21. Johnny Canuck3

    Johnny Canuck3 Well-Known Member

    I think we'd better fit you for a helmet when you're going to go outside. :p
     
    UrbaneFox, Greebo and Corax like this.
  22. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan like an outdated combine harvester

    How the fuck are your supposed to get paper off a roll with one hand? Is this some skill everyone has that I don't?
     
  23. Corax

    Corax This will change your life: http://bit.ly/19lPFRa

    WTF are you doing with your other hand? :confused:
     
  24. quimcunx

    quimcunx jesus tonsils

    Some of us prefer a 'don't ask, don't tell' approach to such delicate and private matters, Corax.

    But no, just you charge in where angels fear to tread. No thought to whether any of us can manage to avert our eyes from his answer before it's too late, or that we cannot unsee what has been seen.
     
  25. Johnny Canuck3

    Johnny Canuck3 Well-Known Member


    You give a good flick with your wrist, and you get the length off one-handed.
     
  26. twentythreedom

    twentythreedom a Somali pirate riding a dinosaur, obviously

    He's tightening his belt that's on the back of the door for INXS LOLS
     
  27. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan like an outdated combine harvester

    Holding the toilet roll!
     
  28. Greebo

    Greebo All the personality of your own plastic copy.

    The loo roll holder here is fixed with a horizontal axis against the wall. To tear off the loo roll one handed:
    1) grab the end sheet with the hand nearest the wall
    2) still holding that sheet, use your forearm or elbow on that side to trap the roll firmly against the wall and stop it turning
    3) keeping your arm there, pivot your hand outwards or down until the perforations tear
    4) repeat if more paper's required
    5) if the loo roll holder isn't on the same side as your dominant hand, tough shit.
     
  29. Mrs Magpie

    Mrs Magpie On a bit of break...

    Sideways. I have one of these kitchen roll things for loo paper standing under the basin in my loo (it's tiny and narrow so a loo roll holder on the wall would impede parking yer arse).

    [​IMG]
     
  30. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan like an outdated combine harvester

    Much easier to just get the roll in your hand
     

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