Funniest Chants (or the most offensive chants) you have heard

Last weekend Arsenal fan's chanted 'Can you taste your brother's cock?' at Ryan Giggs and 'Who's the Scouser in the wig?" at Wayne Rooney. Full marks for invention and delivery.

What one's have tickled you (even if they also made you wince a bit) over the years? And why?

I always remember Asa Hartford failing a medical for a big-money transfer (to Leeds?) because they discovered he had a hole in his heart.

Next time he played he was serenaded with 'There's a hole in your heart, dear Asa, dear Asa'.

Cardiff City Fans to Brighton and Hove Albion fans ----

"You only sing when you're rimming"

It's not a chant but I wish I'd been at the Eastbourne Borough vs Burton Albion game some years ago. There was a pre-match announcement over the tannoy...
"If anyone has a good knowledge of beetles - the insect, not the band - could they please make themselves known to us."
It could have been my finest hour........

I had grudging respect for the gooners' chant for Petit:

He's blonde, he's quick,
His name's a porno flick
Emmanuel, Emmanuel

I don't follow the footie but I did hear of a chant that stuck with me for sheer offensivenes.

'sol, sol, wherever you may be
Your in the grip of lunacy
And we don't give a fuck if your hanging from a tree
your a *something* cunt with HIV'

thats racism, homophobia and mental health bashing all in one short verse. Amazingly cruel.

You're a Judas cunt with HIV.

ETA: Not you, DC - I was completing the 'lyric'.

why the judas bit?

Cos he left for the enemy

He's gonna die,
He's gonna die,
Elton John is gonna die,
Twenty years of HIV,
Elton John is history.

Not my proudest moment as a Luton fan.

Nor, sadly, the most embarrassing - before anyone else says it!

Cos he left his boyhood club Spurs... on a Bosman... and signed for their arch rivals Arsenal.

I quite like 'Evra, you're a cunt' from a lot of the southern clubs. (Arsenal and I think Spurs and Chelsea)

No idea where it comes from but I appreciate it's simplicity and straight to the point-ness.

Becasue he left Tottenham for their bitterest rivals.

And possibly because Judas is thought to have hanged himself. Though I might be crediting Tottenham fans with a little too much knowledge of the New Testament.

.

That was probably because of his well publicised 'battle with depression' (see the lunacy ref) at the time rather than a reference to racist lynching or biblical stories.

Also West Ham at Old Trafford a few years ago. We were dicking them by about four or five and they kept singing 'Lets pretend we've scored a goal', waited a few moments, celebrated like they'd scored then sang 4-1. This carried on until their fake goals were about seven to our five

Oh, this again. Two Andy Gorams. Funniest current chant at WHL would probably be the sanitised Abedayor song: his dad's an accountant, and his mum studies law.

Even a stopped clock. Thank you, SW.

I hate to pogo this, but I recall a similar thread from bygone years ending badly due to chant content.

Luton fans at Fulham in about '97/98 (just after Diana & Dodi had died) to Mohammed al Fayed, who was walking round the pitch doing his scarf waving thing:

He's fat
He's round
His son is in the ground
Al Fayed, Al Fayed

yeah we have done this thread quite a few times before

I remember we all sang "We all shop at Tescos" at that game, too. As if he was bothered that Harrods wasn't full of Hatters!

Worst I have ever seen/heard. Not just because of the chants but because of the sheer number of people chanting them.

Skol Cup SF at Ibrox (Hampden was closed for refurb) early 90's.

The previous weekend two stories broke.

1. Richard Gough (Rangers captain) was on the front page of the Mail with his new (previously unheard of) wife, with the headline 'Wed In Secret'. At the time Glasgow was buzzing with (totally unfounded AFAIK) rumours about Gough, rent boys and a Masonic cover-up.

2. The actor who played Wee Burnie on Rab C Nesbitt was convicted of possession of loads of kiddie porn videos.

On the night, every Celtic bus was plastered with photocopies of the 'Wed In Secret' front page - but with Burnies head superimposed on the bride's body.

Chants on the night included many renditions of 'Richard Gough's on Burnie's videos' and

He's gay
He's vile
He's a fuckin paedophile
Richard Gough, Richard Gough!

Enough to put anyone off their game, you would think. Not Gough. He never had a finer 90 minutes for rangers.

The cunt.

Yes. It was a joke about Tottenham fans and the New Testament.

so feel free not to play.

Happy to say I got that first time. Well witty too.

Boom. Tish.

I thank you. I'm here all week.

And (also to al Fayed at the same game): "You'll never get a passport"

My mate took his to wave at Al Fayed. Then reconsidered, as he thought it might be borderline racist!

I didn't. But I'm now outraged at the flagrant anti-semitism.