Choose me a new look.

That's really sweet of you

I don't remember what I was wearing though

A dress think it had skulls in it? Or something amusing. It was a while ago! It was the cut of the dress that made it work if I remember rightly.

You're not odd-looking though Madz. I know I've only seen you wearing make-up and with decent hair, but I can still make out your features and all, and I can't think of a single thing about you that looks odd. I'd say you're more like me - pretty ordinary most of the time but can look hot on occasion (you definitely do). That's not such a bad way to be.

Mmm, I remember that.

it was a gorgeos dress that she made herself, and then sent it to me because I covetted it. But it doesn't fit me any more... Would you like it back?

Oooh, yes please. Well done for keeping it

cyndi lauper circa 1986

Why don't you just get what you want and get some sort of wrap around overall thing to protect your clothes? Or a lab coat, or whatever?

^^^^ This, more Rosie the Riveter than Hilda Ogden, though.

She's bought loads of new stuff now, sorted

tbf that;s hardly practical. covering up with an extra layer just leaves you sweaty and dangling in your paint you just need stuff that washes well and crappier stuff for messier jobs. although i may have wrecked my only decent pair of jeans with oil pastels will find out in the next wash

I've got an overall but like Bob says it's only worth using it for paint.

Anyway, overall or not it's been a deadly struggle just to find a single fucking thing I like.

I've met you and didn't think you odd looking at all. I can't remember what you were wearing but I thought you looked good. And you have amazing eyes.

Sorted.

You're suggesting Madz buys photoshopping tools? It's a novel approach I suppose.

She needn't. All she needs do is follow in Jodie Marsh's footsteps.

i'm not convinced Madzone has the hours to spare for that size of project at the mo'.

Her continued health, you mean?

And her various other commitments.

I can't fucking win

I've just been to see my therapist-of-sorts and when I walked in he said 'Why are you dressed like that?' I asked what he meant and he said 'You're dressed all in black, you look like you're trying to disappear'. I was wearing a black jumpery tunic thing, black leggings and black knee length boots so he was right about he black. I said I'd become uncomfortable with the stuff I had been wearing and felt a bit daft and wanted to maybe look a bit more serious and dress more appropriately for my age and size. He said it was a load of bollocks and that I'm big but I'm really sexy and can carry it off.

I think I'll just avoid all situations with people. I can't fucking work it out.

Stop trying to work it out then. Other people see you differently to how you see yourself, accept it.
Going goth isn't going to help ffs

It wasn't goth. You take that back

And if other people see me differently to the way I do, how the fuck can I choose what to wear?

Well give up then and buy a ton of baggy combats and t shirts and dress like a fucking bloke.

I would look like the least sexy lesbian in the world.

You pulled!

Oooh no He's married and I've known him a squillion years. We're actually really good friends now. He's one of the few people I absolutely trust to tell me the truth, both theraputically and personally.

it's a strong look isn't it?

I'm sure you could pull it off.

i actually have. 20 years ago.

Wear what you like! You are the one who fancied a change.